5 Relationship Truths to Keep in Mind This Summer

couple in summer

In my previous blog, I discussed 5 Tips For Finding Love This Summer. As a quick recap, those 5 tips are:

  • You will probably not recognize your soulmate at first.
  • Relationships are not as they appear in romcoms and romantic novels.
  • It takes years to truly get to know someone.
  • A relationship needs love, care, and space.
  • Great relationships are worth the effort.

 

I understand how hard it can be to re-enter the dating world. You desperately want to find that special someone to share your life with but have no idea where to start. Summer seems like the perfect time to find someone, but you’re also reminded of just how lonely you are when you see your friends out on adventures with their partner.

It’s important to keep perspective. While it may seem like everyone around you is in a healthy, happy, and loving relationship, chances are that’s far from the truth. In reality, there are plenty of single people all around us and you’re definitely not alone in your dating struggles. The key to dating this summer – or any time for that matter – is to stay positive, be realistic, manage expectations, and be open to possibilities.

If you’re looking to find love this summer, there are some other things you need to keep in mind.

5 Relationship Truths To Remember:

 

1. In spite of many bad relationships, a great relationship IS possible.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been “unlucky in love.” All that matters is that you take the steps necessary to build a healthy, loving relationship. It’s important to take different steps than the ones you have taken in the past. Being open to the right relationship is key.

2. You don’t have to have the relationship your parents had.

Regardless of the example that was set for you or the worldview of past generations, your life and decisions belong to you. Choose how you will go about your relationships instead of blindly walking through them and trying to emulate the way your mother approached her own relationships. You are your own person and your relationship is yours and yours alone.

3. Being together makes you a better person.

When you find the right person, your relationship will grow deeper through the good times and the difficult times. Going through tough things together will help create a more intimate connection.

4. Find someone who understands your “quirks.”

When you find “the one,” they will accept you completely – despite any weird or strange personality traits or quirks. In fact, they will love you because of those things because they are what make you who you are.

5. You can only have a great relationship when you don’t need one.

We’ve all heard the philosophy that the right relationship comes when you aren’t looking for one. It may sound cliche, but it’s true and worth repeating. You will only find a healthy relationship when you are comfortable being alone and aren’t reliant on a relationship for your happiness.

As you navigate the world of dating, it’s important to keep those 5 things in mind. It can be easy to get frustrated or give up, but as long as you keep perspective and practice patience, you will find the one for you.

If you think you need more help overcoming your own internal barriers so that you can find a happy, healthy relationship, consider my 3-month relationship coaching program. Call me today at 312-213-2395 for a free relationship consultation!

5 Tips For Finding Love This Summer

woman at beach in summer

Summer is upon us! It’s a time for laying out by the pool, barbecues, vacations, and adventure. Typically in the summer months things tend to slow down a bit and we find ourselves with more time on our hands. That’s why the summer is the perfect time to start dating. Whether you love going on dates or dread the dating scene, it’s the time to try something new and start meeting new people.

Having time to ourselves to enjoy the summer months can be both a blessing and a curse. With more free time on our hands, we often tend to notice the feelings and emotions we normally push aside. Feelings of loneliness or discomfort may arise when we realize we haven’t been focusing time or energy towards finding love or unleashing our inner fun and playfulness.

We typically head into the summer feeling one of two ways. One, we are looking at things from the “glass half full” perspective and are excited to start dating and are anticipating at least one or two hot dates. Or two, our glass is “half empty” and we’re sad about not having a special someone and are dreading the summer.

The truth is, you’re most likely a combination of both. Whichever side is more dominant in you, be sure to see both sides of the situation. Embrace the fact that summer is a time for endless possibilities and new beginnings.

Many of my clients believe another summer will come and go and they will stay in the same place – alone and feeling like there is nothing they can do about it. We get stuck in a rut and think there is no way to change our relationship status. So, we go about our summer and things stay the same.

The key to finding love this summer – or any time for that matter – is to manage expectations. Unrealistic expectations will only create more problems. I typically see two very different scenarios when it comes to my clients. On one hand, I have clients who can never seem to find a relationship because the men never measure up to their expectations. They only see the negative qualities and have trouble finding the positive qualities in their dates. On the other hand, I have clients who jump into dating and by the third date are already traveling together and making long-term commitments. The problem with that is that they haven’t taken the time to really get to know the person they are dating. As you can see, there are unrealistic expectations on both ends of the spectrum.

Whether you’re excited to date or are filled with anxiety and dread, it’s important to go into this summer with an open mind and heart. If you’re looking to find “the one,” check out my tips below to help motivate you to date this summer.

Tips for Finding “The One”

 

1. You probably will not recognize your soulmate right away.

When you meet “the one” you will not experience a rush of hormones, butterflies, or the typical fanfare depicted in novels. You will only know him or her by a very gentle tug on the heart. Instead of looking for an instant attraction or “spark,” look for that gentle feeling inside and start by building a friendship without any expectations for something more. If they are really your soulmate, that will become obvious with time.

2.  Relationships rarely, if ever, are as they appear in romantic movies and books.

Real people fall into real love slowly. Instead of a “happily ever after”they live “fully ever after” and have a rich, full, and healthy life together. Things take time, work, and effort. No relationship is as it appears on the big screen, so be sure to take a realistic approach as you are dating and meeting new people.

3.  It takes years to really get to know someone.

As you know, being human means we are complex beings. People have many layers and sides to them and it can take a while – years even – to fully get to know someone. Give yourself time to be sure you are really learning all there is to know about your partner.

4.  A relationship is a living being that needs love, care, and space.

People tend to either ignore or smother in relationships. Neither of these are great conditions for a thriving relationship. Healthy relationships need time, attention, and consistency.

5. Great relationships are completely worth the effort.

There is nothing like being in a supportive and loving relationship. A good, positive relationship is completely worth the effort. When you find the right one, you will be understood on a deep level – and they will love you despite all of your flaws or eccentricities. This is one of the best feelings in the world.

So, now that you have some things to keep in mind as you approach the dating scene this summer, it’s time to start going on dates! If you think you may need some more help and coaching, my 3-month relationship coaching program might be the right fit for you. Contact me today to schedule a free consultation call.