10 Tips For a Better Online Dating Experience

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In today’s fast-paced world, online dating seems to have become the norm. In fact, according to The Knot, 19% of brides said they met their spouse online.

If you haven’t tried online dating sites such as match.com or eHarmony, you most likely have a friend, cousin, or friend of a friend who has. With online dating comes plenty of horror stories. The world of online dating can be a tough one to navigate and at times it can seem completely hopeless or like a waste of your valuable time. However, online dating CAN work! Just ask Heather and Dan.

I was recently interviewed by Jackie Pilossoph for an article that was featured in the Chicago Tribune. Jackie is the creator of Divorced Girl Smiling – a divorce support website, and is also a freelance columnist. In the article, Jackie tells the story of Heather and Dan, an engaged couple who met on Match.com and are now engaged. The couple offers tips for navigating the world of online dating and shares why it worked so well for them. Check out the article, Tips for Navigating the Crazy World of Online Dating from a Success Story, to learn more about their story.

Jackie also included 5 of my tips for online dating. Find the complete list of tips for a better online dating experience below!


  1. Have a positive and confident attitude. You need to have a curious and open mind toward online dating. If you go into it as a pessimist, you will be left miserable and frustrated. The world is a mirror and it will give negative attitudes right back to you!
  2. Give it time. We need to put time and energy into the things we want – including a relationship. This means putting time and effort into creating your online dating profile.
  3. Tell your story. Your online profile should begin with your passion/interests and then discuss your profession. If you like to rock climb, garden, or dance – talk about it! Remember you are putting together your profile to attract interest. Use a story format and be as creative as possible!
  4. End with a question. Always ask a question at the end of your profile. It could be anything: If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? or Do you have a bucket list and what’s top on your list? Ending with a question gives a potential suitor something to talk to you about when they reach out for the first time and increases the chance for an engaging first conversation.
  5. Choose the right photo. Whether we like it or not, in the world of online dating, appearance matters. Your picture is the first thing a potential match sees, and therefore is a very important part of your profile. Use two or three good pictures of yourself and make sure one is a full picture of you. Bonus points if your pictures show off your passions and interests!
  6. Attract the right ones. An engaging, thought out profile will help you attract the kind of guys/gals you want to meet. If you put the time into your profile, you’ll most likely go on many dates with people you actually want to spend time getting to know.
  7. Listen to your gut. If he says he can’t meet for a month or months, asks for money, or your spidey senses are activated – move on fast. Trusting your gut is key when it comes to dating. I know, that sounds obvious, but you would be surprised!
  8. Keep the emails to a minimum. I recommend only emailing for one or two weeks before meeting up in person. You never know someone until you meet them! Once you know there is interest, set up a coffee date.
  9. Go on a coffee date.  Remember to keep the date to about one hour. This first date is a “get to know you date.” It’s where you’ll learn if you have things in common, if you feel a connection, and most importantly, if you like them. No long dinners. Repeat after me…We are NOT desperate. We have time! You can always schedule a date for the future once you’ve established a connection.
  10. Keep perspective. Remember that online dating is challenging for both men and women – even though we go about it very differently!


Hopefully these tips will help you navigate the wild world of online dating. If you change your perspective and are open to the possibilities, you can have a lot of fun with it!

And, if you’re looking for tips for those first few dates, check out my blog on The 7 Questions to Ask on the First Three Dates.


A Relationship Coach in Southern California,
Sue De Santo works with men and women who are struggling to find that
long-lasting, fulfilling relationship.

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